We are now home from our annual Easter brunch at my parent’s house. The monkey’s fave Easter basket item? Yoda kites. I popped our dinner in the oven and the girls began to argue which Star Wars movie we are going to watch.
I should prelude this with the fact that they are 5 & 6 now but have been Star Wars fans since they were 2 & 3. I should also mention that as soon as we got home, lilest stripped off the dress so her half of the debate was argued wearing only her underwear.
I love my little geeklings and am frequently in awe of them when they get in uber geek mode. Fighting they do frequently. They flat out throw down like boys. Then two minutes later are smooching on each other and cooing about how they are bestest friends ever. But, every once in a while an actual debate occurs. Tonight is one of those nights.
For some reason, Revenge of the Sith has always been one of eldest’s favorites. Which doesn’t make any sense to me. She LOVES Anakin. Before it sunk in that it wasn’t really possible, she vowed to one day marry him. You’d think that Attack of the Clones would be her favorite then. Why the one where he turns to the dark side and gets his ass handed to him by Obi Wan? Yet it is. It also happens to be my least favorite of all of them. I understand it is necessary, but it’s all so sad. In fact, given that she is inherited my upset at movies that make me sad and habit of turning them off if they make me cry, I would think she would also find this the least favorite. But, whatever the reason, it’s her go to when we talk the new movies vs the classics.
Lilest is a girl after my own heart. She’s all about the classics. Of them, Return of the Jedi is frequently the one that she pushes for. She also HATES Revenge of the Sith.
And so the debate began.
Eldest declares her choice of Revenge of the Sith. Lilest shoots her down. Her argument is simple- it’s too dark, too scary, too sad. Eldest counters with the necessity of it in the total story line and then busts out comparing it to the story of Easter- Anakin dies. He is resurrected as Vader. Lilest throws her a complete curve ball with Return of the Jedi being much more Easter-like because Vader dies and Anakin is resurrected and redeemed. Eldest counters that Anakin flat out dies then, therefore it is not a story of resurrection. Lilest counters with the fact that Revenge of the Sith ends with Vader being created, but ends with that. There is no “character development of him at that point.” Eldest replies “well played, but Anakin still dies in Jedi.” Lilest “Oh really? Because I’m fairly certain that those that are strong with the Force never truly die and he does appear at the closing of the movie along with Obi Wan and Yoda.” Eldest’s retort? “That’s it, there is only one way to solve this- to the light sabers!”
So which one are we watching?
The Princess Bride.
Yup, they decided that fighting wasn’t the answer, it’s Spring Break so we should just pull a full on Star Wars marathon from start to finish instead.
I know I’m far from a traditional mom. I do things way differently than most moms do. In fact, other moms at eldest’s school and their old day care love to point that out to me. It just makes me smile. The one thing that I am traditional in, in a way that moms SHOULD be, is the mama bear effect. Yeah, I’m fiercely protective of my monkeys. I try to keep it in check though.
Having said all that, while I’m proud of the mother I am, I try not to judge others on their parenting. We all know that they don’t pop out holding an instruction manual or a flash drive with a pdf of one. The basics of raising children are easy though. It’s not rocket science. You keep them safe and show them all the love you can. When I see those basic truths not being upheld, that’s when I get mad.
So, today I had to run in to Walgreen’s really quickly. Lilest and I pull in. It takes me a bit to answer a couple of texts I got while driving. Maybe 5 minutes after parking, we get out and trek on in. While walking past this giant new Lexus SUV that had been parked and running kitty corner in front of us, I notice two things. 1. It’s unlocked and there’s no one in the front. B. There is a roughly 2 year old alone in a car seat in the back. That last one made me take a couple of steps back and actually look into the windows to make sure I was seeing right. Yup. Alone. *eye twitch*
We go in, grab my nail polish, stand in line, wait for the check out lady and the woman ahead of us to stop coffee clutching, pay for it and wander back out.
And the Lexus is still there.
Still running.
Lil guy still in there all alone.
As I get in my car, my mind struggles. Yes, this is the burbs. But, it’s unlocked. Keys in and running. With child. The mere thought of what could happen terrifies me. But, is it rational? I know there is NO WAY IN HELL I would EVER do that. Jinkies, lilest is over twice that child’s age and in she went with me. So I sit and I think. Lilest asks me why we aren’t driving yet and I explain to her what is going through my head. Then, she hits me with logic- “Mommy, you always stand up for what you feel is right. And you always say sometimes we need to be the voice for people who can’t use theirs.” Grrrr. What to do? Going in means the possibility of a very less than pleasant exchange with the driver/mom/dad/babysitter/guardian/what have you. The kind where people get to swinging. Yet I can’t just drive away and be wondering if that little boy is okay. I can sit here and wait for the person to come out and keep an eye on the vehicle. But, what happens when they go to the next place and do the same thing? Will someone watch it then? Will that little boy be okay?
So, I called the non emergency number for our police department and I told them the situation. Left it in their hands. And drove away hoping that the little boy would be okay, knowing they were at least on their way.
Did I do the right thing? I’m still not sure. I kinda hope whoever it is was in there buying some birth control. All I wanted was some nail polish.
I know that I am far from alone when I say that Dr. Seuss shaped my life. Generation after generation will continue to utter that same phrase. At least I hope.
If you have followed my blog since I started it (which you probably haven’t) you will have heard this story before. It bears repeating though. 🙂
My quest for knowledge has always been there. When I was little, the birthday cut off for Kindergarten was December 1st- the day before mine. By the time I reached 3 1/2 my parents realized I was much different than they had anticipated and they thought I should be in school. Yes folks this was before 3K, 4K and all that other stuff. Back in my day there was only one Kindergarten. And you had to be 5 by the cut off date to attend. Feeling I was more than ready, mom called the school district and was told to bring me in, that they would test me. If I passed, I was in. Like the already lil nerd I was, I was SO excited to go in and test. I remember what I wore that day and I remember them handing me a sheet with a clown on it holding a bunch of balloons. While I don’t recall the tests, I do recall that each one I passed, they put a sticker on to fill in a balloon. All I needed was over half of them full. Proudly, I skipped out of there with all of them colored in. I was going to go to school!
Until the call came. The “If we make an exception for her, then someone comes in with Dec. 3rd & 4th, where do we draw the line?” call. I won’t lie, I totally cried my lil heart out.
Then, I woke up the next morning pissed and determined.
I grabbed all my lil Dr. Seuss books and sat down in front of Sesame Street and taught my geeky self how to read. On a mission, I had mastered all of the books within a couple of weeks and would read them over and over again.
If that alone was the only thing I got from him, that would mean the world. The independence he gave me to teach myself to read empowered me. It taught me that books were the key to knowledge. Not long later it taught me that they are also the key to survival when you need to escape from an unhealthy environment.
And what knowledge did my dear friend Seuss teach me a the ripe old age of 4? He taught me the foundations of who I am:
* Always be yourself: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
*Being a geek is good: “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
“There’s no limit to how much you’ll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go.”
*Always stand up for what you believe: “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
“I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.”
*Life is tough, but have faith: “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
“You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. “
*Keep an open mind: “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”
“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”
“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.”
And so very, very much more.
He taught me to be creative. To make up words, characters, entire worlds. To be different. To not only use my imagination but to embrace it. That the world isn’t black and white, nor should it ever be. It should be colorful. It should be filled with amazing creatures all so different but living together peacefully. And if a Grinch pops up, show them some love.
So, happy, happy birthday Dr. Seuss. May your legacy forever live on.
“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
It started with a tweet from @shimmer418. A little thing called #BoobieWed. What is #BoobieWed? It’s a group of women that have made it a mission to raise breast cancer awareness across Twitter, Facebook and Myspace by reminding men and women to self examine. Every Wednesday a sea of supporters change their avatars to show their support. Having lost my aunt Carol, my first official partner in crime, to breast cancer, this hit home. Early detection may have saved her life.
That one tweet led to a cathartic post. A declaration “Yup, I’ve Got Boobies.” And ultimately, my polka dotted bra clad breasts went up on Twitter for my little group of followers to see. The reaction was mixed to say the least. But, as soon as that post went up, my awesome tribe of geek girls responded with an outpouring of love and support that went beyond just RT’s. That’s how we roll. One makes a stand, we stand behind her.
We come in all shapes and sizes, each one of them gorgeous in their own right. We cover every spectrum you could declare geeky and we do it proudly.
We are strong. We are geek. We have boobies. We use our powers for good.
And I am so proud to announce that we have banded together to create a project for the cause.
Complete With: Over a year’s worth of awesome women proudly displaying their geek and their girlie. Monthly reminders to self examine Major (and not so major) Con dates printed right on it
Why This Calendar is so Important and What Your Purchase Means:
There are more than 250,000 women living in this country that were diagnosed with breast cancer under that age of 40. That does not account for the thousands that did not detect it early enough and lost their battles with breast cancer as a result.
The strongest weapon in beating breast cancer is early detection. That is the fuel behind this project- driving home the importance of it and reminding women (and yes men) to check their breasts regularly and remind those in their life to do so as well.
A portion of the proceeds of all Calendar sales will go to the following organizations:
The Young Survival Coalition: YSC works with survivors, caregivers and the medical, research, advocacy and legislative communities to increase the quality and quantity of life for women diagnosed with breast cancer ages 40 and under.
Feel Your Boobies: FYB is a breast cancer non-profit organization whose mission is to create an annual reminder campaign that utilizes unexpected and unconventional methods to remind young women to “feel their boobies”.
Remember #BoobiesAreStrongerThanTheForce But they still need to be checked.
It is almost complete. A shakabuku is no good if you fail to follow through with it. Although by definition it alters your reality so following through on it kind of becomes an instinct. Still, we instinctually tend to shy away from things that are difficult emotionally. I sat down last night and this morning and completed a HUGE step for me. The M.O.M.
Monkey Operations Manual
So what is the M.O.M? And why so hard?
Long story shortish, I’m a single mom. The girls and I left when they were very young and for all the right reasons. Even so, it wasn’t easy. Eldest remembers the way I was treated by the ex and it has stuck with her and we’ve worked on that. Lilest seems to have been too little to remember, but I still wonder. Their dad is still a part of their lives and that is a whole other story. Suffice it to say, his way of parenting and my way of parenting are VASTLY different. He is all discipline (on the rather extreme side of it at that) and little love. I’m all love and have been lacking in the discipline department.
In my head, I was providing balance. But, the scale has been very far out of whack. The result- yes, they may fear him in many ways, but they also respect and listen to him. With me- they love the mess out of me, but they don’t always respect and listen to me. Lilest especially. And it has gotten more and more obvious. I have made steps, but they have been babysteps.
I have the same issues with wanting to help, putting them first and boundaries when it comes to them. And I’m their PARENT. It’s not right. I need to fully lead by example or they are going to grow up and my incorrect attempt to provide them with a “healthy” environment is going to end up leading to very unhealthy issues in their lives. The old cycle I attempted to break is going to be replaced with a new cycle that, quite frankly, is no prettier.
In understanding my issues and the roots of all of them, I can now clearly see how to change this all for the better. I know my girls better than anyone else. They are really great kids, don’t get me wrong. I will be the first to totally gush about how awesome they are. But, no one is perfect and while that is okay, it’s up to me to help them be the best “me”s that they can be.
So, I have taken my new found clarity and have devised a plan. A manual even.
New House Rules New Behavioral Charts New Disciplinary Structures New Tighter Routines
We have had rules, we have had routines, we have had some sense of structure. But, no where near what it needs to have been. Now it will be clearly laid out in a way they will both understand and be a true balance of discipline and love. Okay, so the love may eek out just a bit higher than the discipline. I am who I am. 🙂
And Santa is going to back me up with gifts to help all of us stick to it. 🙂
Tonight a new Monkey Order begins. The M.O.M will prevail.
Some people may call it a lesson learned. But, this is more of a epiphany or shakabuku. Either way, what started as a slow discovery has hit hard. You know when you know something but it doesn’t quite sink in to your bones far enough for it to be a permanent part of you? Well, that moment that it gets engrained, burned into your psyche, that’s the important stuffs. Combine it with when you realize what you truly need to do with that and make the commitment to do so and you got yourself a shakabuku. (I like shakabuku because it’s so fun to say. )
Often times we accept things about ourselves and that’s that. Sometimes we really need to understand the why, the how and the impact that these things have on us and those around us or that are an important part of our lives. Take it back to the root and then keep digging. Why keep digging? You can pluck something out that you don’t like about yourself and replant something new there. But, sometimes the roots of it are really good, they actually just need to be stronger. So, ya gotta dig, ya dig?
There have been a few events lately that have built up to all of this. When I needed to, I lacked the ability to really explain myself properly. Rather than having the sense to say “I don’t know, let me figure it out please” I stumbled through what I thought it was. Describing a sort of reflex I’d somewhat gotten accustomed to as being part of me. A reflex that I now realize that wasn’t truly a bad thing, but also wasn’t a good thing either. Kind of one of those “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions” things. I don’t want that anymore. Ever.
I am the first one to freely admit I am flawed and proclaim myself forever a work in progress. There are no perfect people in this world, but I should constantly strive to be the best me that I can be. I’ve clearly been slacking on that. It was staring at the aftermath of the aforementioned events that it all hit me.
Some basic truths about me:
1. I truly love to help other people. It’s not motivated in any way by wanting people to like me or wanting anything at all in return. The reason is a two-parter. The first one being that I have been through some pretty rough situations in my life and many of them I did so on my own. While I appreciate the strength that it has given me, a part of me has wanted to do what I could to make sure others had help when faced with something, be it good or bad, that they needed help with. The second being that I really believe we are all on this crazy, wonderful ride called life together and should cut each other some slack and lend a hand when able. When people ask for help, 99% of the time, my reaction is one of those reflexes I have- I say yes and run full force into helping them out. Like an excited puppy dog.
2. I have a propensity of putting everyone else first. Being a giver is a part of me that I’ve always been proud of. When it comes to needs, wants, desires, time, what have you- I will put someone else’s before mine far too often. Again, reflex.
3. I have difficulty setting and keeping boundaries. I’ve worked on this and have gotten a lot better on it, but I still have so far to go. If someone crosses a line when it comes to someone I care about, I can fiercely defend that boundary for them. In a heartbeat. But, I fail to apply that to myself far too often. Someone will test a boundary and now there are times where I can point out the boundary and mark it out for them. “Don’t cross here please.” Then I inevitably feel bad when they are being nice and allow them to put their toe on that line again. It’s even worse when they are friends. I’ve tried to get better at that, but I still have issues completely severing unhealthy friendships.
When you combine these three together, while I’ve always believed they are good traits to have, they can lead to a lot of problems.
The problem with reflexes is this- while they can be life saving if they are healthy reflexes, they have the ability to do the opposite when they are not healthy ones. As I stare at that dreaded aftermath, it is far too obvious the damage that can truly be done.
In the past, the biggest detriment of these reflexes was I’d get completely burnt out and/or get my feelings hurt. Well, when you look at all three of them and the thought processes I had been using, it all came down to – well it was just me being affected by being burnt out or hurt so that’s not that bad. Right? Sooooo wrong. Even if it is just me, those in my life that care about me are affected no matter what. I don’t want to see someone I care about burnt out or hurt. It’s time I accept that others may not want to see me that way either.
When an excited puppy takes off running, they trip, they fall, they knock things over, they see a shiny and start running in a new direction which means accidentally forgetting the original direction and sometimes they flat-out run right into traffic. Whether they mean to or not, they can leave quite the path of destruction behind them.
It’s time for me to learn to take a deep breath, calm the fuck down and think things through THOROUGHLY. How will this affect me? How will it affect those closest to me?
It’s okay to put me first. In fact, if I want to keep the things I like about me, keep those most important to me in my life, I have to. I am no good to anyone a stressed out, burnt out ball of hurt. I may be good at hiding it, but that doesn’t last long. And I’m definitely no good to those I care about if my reflexes hurt them.
It’s okay for me to say no. I’ve been good at it when it is something that affects my core values, well my values need to start with me valuing me a lot more. It’s okay to completely end relationships, friendships, what have you when they are not healthy. It’s okay and important for me to explain myself clearly to them as to what they are doing, how they are affecting me and that if they continue to do so that I can no longer continue to have them in my life. I will never like hurting someone else’s feelings (and I do believe that has always been the big factor- not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings) but I can’t keep putting other people’s feelings before mine. My feelings should be just as important to me.
This has been a lot for me to digest and really hard for me to openly declare. Balancing my new found me-ness is going to be a bit of a learning process. I will inevitably stumble and trip and may still take off running all excited at times. While I am strengthening these roots, this flower is going to be a bit wonky. Okay, more wonky than usual. This flower will always be flawed. And that’s okay. But, in the end, it will still be even stronger and more beautiful.
When you look at it from afar- life really is a garden and in it, we are all flowers. Each one of us beautifully flawed in our own way.
“Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.” ~ The Dad in Juno 🙂
Now, I’m willing to bet that your first thought was “oh yeah it’s Monday” or “awww that sucks.” But, I’m not talking about one of THOSE days.
Don’t get me wrong, the calendar says it’s Monday, the monkeys managed to bust out mad karate moves on each other this morning, fight over the Wii remote (she that controls the remote rules the Netflix streaming) and we barely got eldest to school on time. Laundry mountain is close to having snow covered peaks. The thousands of emails I have in my inbox (literally and I’m so not proud of that number) that I need to get to and handle scare me, my plate is beyond full and if I pause long enough, I’m sure the feeling of overwhelmedness will start to creep in. I’ve been giving my To Do the list the stink eye for a while now as I fight to catch up on being sick for 6+ weeks and all I really want to do today is drive around and huggle people that I have not seen or talked to enough in far too long. Standard crazy, somewhat stressful morning.
You know what though? It’s a freakin awesome day. Why? Because we have a roof over our heads, food in our fridge and the monkeys and I love the mess out of each other. I’m pursuing my dream and there are people in my life that remind me how much I mean to them. Those that are on my huggle hit list know that I love them and get what I have been through and that I would be all up on them in full on huggle more often if I could. I guess simply put, I have amazing people in my life that love me despite of (and sometimes because of) my many flaws.
N O T H I N G. E L S E. M A T T E RS .
And all of this means that I’m back. I am back to 110% Natali again. Still a bit run down but OMG it feels SO FREAKIN good.
Okay, so it’s not really summer and it was far from a vacation. Maybe “Fun with Numbers” would have been a better title. Don’t worry, there will NOT be a quiz at the end of this. Whatever the title, the last 6-7 weeks have been a string of unpleasant adjectives like insane, draining, depressing, scary, confusing, painful. There have also been some very awesome moments too. Moments that have kept me from completely losing it. From losing me. I’ve been in this almost animated coma, like a lil zombie Natali. And whenever I had glimpses of me snapping out of it, I would get dragged back into it. One word I don’t use too often is hate. But I HATE not feeling like myself. Now that I’ve said that, I’m going to turn around and do something NonNatali. That’s right, instead of some long babbling post that gives you a big blow by blow of the last several weeks, I’m going to boil it down to basic facts. Facts that I realized this weekend as Zombie Natali started packing her bags.
In the last (we’ll just round it to 7) seven weeks I have:
Seen 4 different specialists and 2 different general practitioners
Had 3 trips to the hospital, 2 to urgent care, 2 to regularly scheduled doctor appointments.
Been on 7 different antibiotics- one that I found out the hard way I am VERY allergic to, one that was via shot in the booty which I understand they deemed necessary, but totally hurt like Hell and I am currently still on a 2 antibiotic combo cocktail now and for the next 4 days.
Gone through an entire bottle of calamine lotion and benadryl (see aforementioned allergy comment), 2 bottles of different narcotic based syrup thingies (I know that’s super technical and they weren’t nearly as fun as they sound), 3 different pain killers (sadly one was prescribed so that I could actually swallow the antibiotic without crying because my throat scared the doctor), 2 bottles of Ibuprofen, 1 bottle of Tylenol, 1 box of Sudafed, 1 1/2 boxes of Hojicha, 1/2 a box of this really nasty “cold repair” tea, 12 quarts of Cherry Pomegranate “Immunity” Crystal Light, a vast array of ramen and soup and I’m sure a bunch of other things I’m forgetting.
Faced the “c word”, “a really wicked case of the flu you poor thing”, strep throat, “at this point I’m suspecting a combination of things including walking pneumonia” and a couple of other lovely diagnoses. By the way, the people at my lovely urgent care here do NOT think it’s funny when you say “I’m fairly certain I may have the plague.” I thought the plague went out with like scurvy, but I guess it’s still around. And it triggers words like “Department of Public Health” and “HAZMAT.”
Had needles and scalpels accost me, fluids pulled out and pumped in. I like my fluids, I think I have them for a reason. I do NOT like scalpels. They are not very friendly.
Through all of this, I was under the delusion I was holding it all together somewhat. It seemed like every time I was finally starting to feel like myself again, something else would hit me. I managed to hold off the really nasty stuff until the weekends I did not have the monkeys. Until this past Monday. It would seem that the powers that be felt I needed to be knocked on my ass once and for all. So, enter 102.9 temp (which is more like 104 for someone whose “normal” temp is 97.3 ) , a nurse with a very, very large needle, another round of antibiotics and me literally just sleeping. For like a week. I barely remember packing eldest’s lunch for her everyday before my dad came to take her to school, but I guess I did. I missed my weekly UDC meeting and The Power Geeks Podcast. I pretty much just slept curled in a ball under 2 down comforters for days. I’ve slept more in the last week than I think I’ve slept in a year. Yet, I’m still tired. Go figure 🙂
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I miss me. I know I say I’m just Natali, but I’m the only Natali I have. When she disappears, it kinda sucks.
But, I feel her coming back. Friday night she came by for a very nice visit.
Then Saturday she stayed and played for awhile. My sister had called and basically told me it was time I got out of the house and she felt like a mini road trip. Of course it was already almost 7:30pm but she said the magic word- sushi. You see WISN, a local station does an “A list” every year of all the “best of…” I had peeked at it not long ago and was surprised that some little hole in the wall place in Kenosha took best of sushi. Now, you have to be from around here to kind of get the perplexity that out of all the great sushi restaurants in Milwaukee, some really upscale, and a lil place in Kenowhere takes it. So, we hauled on down to Soon’s Sushi Cafe and O M Freaking G. From the outside you think “no way this place has great anything,” Okay, even when you walk in, it’s not even remotely fancy. We were the only people there as they were closing at 9:30. I still don’t understand how the place wasn’t packed. The whole experience was bliss. It started with a green tea tini (so I maybe shouldn’t have had alcohol) and a giant plate of amazing sweet potato tempura. They specially made it all sweet potato for us and didn’t charge any extra. At $4.50 it was a total steal too. We then ordered a Spider Roll (an old fave of mine I hadn’t had in ages) and a Playboy Roll. I’m telling you this right now- it’s called the Playboy Roll because it makes love to your mouth. It was seriously the best roll of any kind I’ve ever had. Our waitress was awesome and her and I babbled away about… COMICS!! And the upcoming Green Lantern and SuperMan movies and the atrocity of the new Wonder Woman outfit and storyline. Then, the owner/head chef Soon came over. I wanted to put her in my pocket and take her home with me. Not only is she a phenomenal chef, but she is so sweet. Plus, even though she is actually from Korea, I got to actually converse in Japanese with her. It felt so good. Then, Brandy (You’re a fine girl) came on the radio. It was the chosen karaoke song of my really good friend Bob. It was the 5 year anniversary of his death recently. A death I’ve never really gotten over yet. But, that’s a whole other post. It just felt good to hear it. Our waitress then told us that little Soon is actually 72!! I’m telling you, she could make a fortune off those carnies that are supposed to guess your age cuz there is no way she looks even close to that. The food was great, the people there (Soon’s husband came by and chatted with us for quite a while too) rocked. I swear I’d drive down there again in a heartbeat than go to most of the trendy places around Milwaukee for sushi again. It is very much worth the trip. When we left, Soon kept bowing and said “Arigatou! Sayonara! Oyasuminasai!” and then giggle happily when I said “Matane!” 🙂
That night did me so much good. On the way home, we stopped by the hilariously odd place I spotted on the way there. It was called “Cafe de Lube” and no, it’s not a porn shop. It’s an oil change center and “coffee cafe” all in one. Complete with a drive thru and a sign boasting a huge discount for “recycling” electronic cigarettes there. It’s several blocks down from Tacos To Go that proudly serves “Mexican Egg Rolls” and “Italian Beef Burritos.” I now love you Kenosha. You make me smile.
It feels weird to interact with people now. I’ve lost touch with so many over the last several weeks. There have been some that have stuck with me through it all, repeatedly checking in on me. My inbox scares me more than ever now. I need to go through it. So, in the off chance you’re reading this and have sent me anything, I promise I’m getting to it! 🙂
I am now hopefully way on the way to being fully mended, trying to not freak out and become crippled with overwhelmedness (I think I just made that word up) about all the things on my plate at the moment and hoping Natali sticks around for awhile. 🙂
And that, my dears, is what I did on my summer vacation. Not even a new tan to brag about. 🙂
I am sitting here at Intervention (Con not the show where someone is ending up in rehab) surrounded by some amazing talent and amazing people. Yet another congregation of people that get each other on some level even though they’ve never met. It’s so inspiring.
While I am still refraining from naming the names of the companies that decided they did not want to be “associated” with the words dork, geek or nerd, I don’t think I’m done with them yet. I still have a message to send them. Well, we have a message to send them. It’s a simple message really. In fact, we’ve been doing it all along.
We are who we are and we’re damn proud of it.
We’re not going to hide it anymore. We’re not going to try to fit into someone else’s mold or idea of who we should be.
Geek is gorgeous. Nerd is not negative. Dork is divine. Gnork is awesome cubed.
We have taken those terms that may have once been attempts at insult and we have fully embraced them and made them our own. We wear them proudly.
So how do we get the message to companies like that? How do we make our stand?
A friend’s answer to that? Oprah. That would totally work. You know who it made me think of though? E L L E N. Now, I have an immense respect for Oprah and what she’s accomplished. But I love Ellen. She is a giant ball of awesome that is definitely on my “Peeps I Want To Huggle Someday List.” I think if anyone gets embracing being quirky and different than the mainstream it’s definitely Ellen. She’s bravely looked peeps in the face and said “I am who I am” for years now.
I think Ellen would help us. Help us get UberDork Cafe and the message of gnork pride and gnork community out there for all to see. Whatdya think peeps? Do you think we can get Ellen on board? There’s only one way to find out. Let’s give it a shot.
Click here and fill out the form to tell Ellen you wanna see UberDork Cafe on the show!!
Some other great ways to help get the word out and get Ellen to notice:
Tweet “Hey @TheEllenShow! I wanna see @UberDorkGirlie & UberDork Cafe on!!”
Tweet the link out to your followers.
Share this on your Facebook page.
Tattoo it on your forehead and… wait no, that’s a bit much. 🙂
I know we can do this. I have faith in my community and faith in Ellen.
For this last week and a half or so I have been pretty sick. After finally getting antibiotics for it, I ended up breaking out in hives from head to toe from them. My hives had hives. Soooo not attractive. Soooo not comfortable. I had hit the brick wall of burnt out.
Until last night.
I’m still wiped and still dealing with health issues, but it’s time to pick up the #truthbat again. This time, surprisingly, for the cafe. For everyone that believes in it.
You see, I have a weekly conference call every Tuesday night for the UberDork Cafe. I look forward to them for many reasons. What I learned last night floored me. Saddened me. When the shock of it all wore off, it downright pissed me off.
I’ve always proudly embraced the titles geek, nerd, dork. One of the many amazing lessons that I have learned on this incredible journey of UberDork Cafe is that us gnorks still tend to hide who we are. Stay in our lil corners of the online world and don’t tend to venture beyond that. Part of the whole goal of the cafe has been to give us a place to go to. To branch out from those corners. To give our future gnorks a place to go to meet others and to actually be able to comfortably be themselves in a place within the community, the real life community. To teach them and us that we don’t need to hide who we are. There is no shame in being geeks, nerds, dorks.
Last night I realized I might be wrong.
It might not be a fluke that there is nothing really like the UberDork Cafe out there. The fact that we tend to hide may not really be our fault. It seems others are more comfortable when we are contained to online. We may come out if we must, but we shall not refer to ourselves as dorks, or geeks or nerds. It makes others uncomfortable it seems.
Last night I was informed that major corporate sponsors of the first auction completely backed out. Why? Well, during initial contact the full name UberDork Cafe was used. From that point on it was shortened to UDC or “the cafe.” Then they got the press kit yesterday. These major corporations then stated that I would need to change the name of the cafe for them to follow through with sponsoring. Yup. They don’t like “dork.” And yeah, don’t try to replace it with nerd or geek either. Those simply won’t do as well. One of these major corporations makes a great deal of money off of us gnorks as well.
My response? (Ok, well the edited version, I won’t lie, there was A LOT of cussing on my behalf initially.)
Dear Giant Corporate People,
Shame on you. Shame on you for so very many reasons. For thinking you could just buy a name. For thinking you have that sort of power over people still. For thinking that us dorks, us nerds, us geeks are that weak that we would hide who we are, change who we are to suit your comfort. For being more than willing to take our money as long as we remain safely tucked away from view and deny who we are. For thinking that you somehow own us. For thinking that in this day and age discrimination is ok, as long as it has a price tag on it. For thinking that I am the type of person that is going to just roll over, change my entire character and teach my children that it is acceptable to allow a company, or even a person, to force you to change your name, your character, or who you are for them.
Allow me to enlighten you. Dork, nerd, geek… in your feeble minds may be words that show weakness or less than desirable characteristics. I hate to break this to you, but the term “corporate” invokes far worse feelings amongst a vastly wider population of people. People that span all age levels, races, income brackets, you name it. Do you know why that is? Because of things like this. Because you still live under the antiquated notion that bigger is always better. That money will buy you anything, anyone. I hate to break it to you, but it really doesn’t. In fact, it won’t even buy you one lil ole dork.
I’m not for sale. My children’s dream is not for sale. My friends, my family, the people that support this dream, that support the UberDork Cafe are not for sale.
And we certainly aren’t going anywhere. If anything, you’ve just made us a bit louder. A bit more present.
Thanks so much for reinforcing the need for the UberDork Cafe. Your shameful behavior has made my mission that much stronger.
Have a wonderful day!
Sincerely, Natali Proudly known as UberDork Girlie
