Hello, my name is Natali and I will be your Fairy Karma Mother today. To point out some things that will come back and bite you in the ass if you’re not careful. For some of you though I may be a swift #truthbat to the head. Both are for your own good really. And both delivered out of love.

What the Hell makes me qualified for such things? Everything or nothing depending on how you look at it. No, that’s not any attempt to be all cryptic. It works like this- I’m qualified because I am human. I am perceptive. I care. I’m not afraid to point out the ugly truths we all secretly know but sometimes forget or blatantly ignore because it’s more comfortable to do so. And odds are, I’ve been through it myself. If you don’t want to hear what I’m saying, well then nothing I can say will make me qualified enough in your eyes. Deep down, you know I’m right though.

So, grab a woobie, take a deep breath, clear your mind, open it up, sit back and relax…..

1. Don’t Be That DoucheBag.

Very few times in my life have I heard a sober person utter “dating is fun!” It’s an awkward dance between strangers that grows more awkward with every “ten tips to snag a geek” and “what he REALLY wants in a woman” type article that comes out. Wear this, say this, do this, don’t do this, wait this many days/dates before you do this. It’s all too much. Yet few want to be alone so it’s a necessary dance of sorts.

I have witnessed a highly common theme amongst my friends and people in my social streams as of late. Here’s the scenario….. (and it works both ways, girls do it as well, I’m not just claiming it’s guys. Douchebag is def not a single gendered noun.)

Girl/guy meet online. They start talking. They like each other. They are talking and texting like mad. There are clearly all kinds of commonalities. They finally meet over the obligatory coffee/lunch/beer. Things seem to go okay. Girl never hears from guy again.

Seriously!? WHAT THE FUCK?? I don’t get this. Yet, I’ve seen soo much of it lately. First of all, it would seem there was clearly a connection there. If not romantic, at least as friends. Your friend quota is just suddenly maxed out?

Secondly and most importantly- GET OVER YOURSELF.

Guess what Sunshine? There is a chance she wasn’t wanting to start nomming your face either. Man up/Woman up and be a decent human being. Say “hey, I had a nice time. I’m not sure how you feel, but I was feeling way more a friend vibe than romantic. I’m sorry if that’s not what you were feeling. But, if you’d like to stay in touch, hang out…..” you get the point. Something nice.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BE THAT DOUCHEBAG. No one deserves to be treated like that. And honey, if you are the victim of that douchebag THEY ARE NOT WORTHY. Trust me love, you WILL do soooo much better. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

2. Actions always speak louder than words. So, if you can’t back yours up, let your next action be walking.

I put this up over the weekend. The first part is older than dirt. I’m fairly certain even dinosaurs lived by this. This bears repeating- Words woo and pull at our heartstrings. One right sentence from the right person can make our entire day, or week or month. But, the words mean nothing if they are not backed by actions. Whispering sweet nothings… they are nothings unless there are actions that make them somethings. I don’t care who you are, “I love you” followed by a junkpunch just ain’t right.

There are many facets to this too. You can’t tell someone they are important to you, yet you have no time for them. Especially when you are all over FB, Twitter, whatever talking to everyone else.

When you tell people something, they tend to believe you. Especially when it’s things like “You’re special, I care, you’re important, I love you.” Those are big words.

WORDS THAT IF YOU CAN’T BACK UP, JUST TURN AROUND AND WALK NOW BEFORE YOU DO MORE DAMAGE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE.

3. Never make someone a priority when you are only their option.

This is one I need to keep revisiting. I think it’s one of the hardest things to master. We all have (whether we want to admit it or not) the desire to be liked. Some people don’t feel like they are liked unless they know people are paying attention. The more people that pay attention, the better they feel.

When no one is giving them that, enter you. They can always count on you. Well, both of you need to listen up.

IF YOU DON’T STOP SEEKING EVERYONE’S APPROVAL/COMPLIMENTS/LUST/WHATEVER, YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE THE ONE PERSON THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE. One true person is worth way more than a bunch of silly fans that will never know the real you or bail when they do meet it.

and

YOU DESERVE TO BE A PRIORITY. THE PRIORITY. There IS someone out there that will want to make you their priority.

4. The truth ALWAYS comes out.

Lying about who you are or pretending to be someone you aren’t does no one any good. Everyone needs a friend in their life with a strong bullshit detector. And we need to listen to them. It’ll save A LOT of heartache.

5. Kindness always wins and grumpy people just suck.

If you are going to choose to judge other people on one mere characteristic , let that one be that they are human. Mere flesh and blood like the rest of us. A commonality we can all relate to. Even the seemingly charmed don’t live charmed lives. We all go through our own trials. What’s small to us may be huge to others and vice versa. So, the next time you’re out- hold a door open for a stranger and smile at them. They may really need it. The next time you’re about to judge someone you don’t even know based on their political views or color of their skin, whatever silly little thing you feel like randomly judging them on, find something about them that you have in common. I already gave you one. 🙂 Or something you like about them. I know that’s a big step, but try it once. It’s not gonna kill you.

Well, I think that’s it for now. I know there is more knocking around my noggin but I wanted to get this up before I started my day. Thank you for putting up with my little rant for the morning.

Remember- Karma shows up for us all. It’s up to us to whether it’s to say hi and give us a huggle, or smack the shit outta us. 🙂