So, if you’ve been brave enough to tackle some of my other posts, you may have stumbled upon my one regarding online dating. As promised, here is specimen number one in the line of freaks…

It was late when I set up my profile on the dreaded online dating site. When done, I left it in the hands of the powers that be, logged out and went sleepy nigh. Admittedly, I was excited when my e-mail in the morning revealed to me that someone had actually sent me a message on there. Perhaps I was wrong about my Crazy Cat Lady in Training theory… hee hee oh silly, silly girl I was.

I pulled up the site, logged in and clicked on my inbox with much anticipation. Greeting me was the following:

Dear UberDorkGirl-

I have been on freakssneedlove2.com for awhile now and most of the profiles read exactly the same. I found your’s different and I like that. I feel we have many things in common and would like to meet for a cup of coffee. Please let me know when you would be available to do so.

Fondly,
George

Incase you were wondering, yes, the name of the site and the person’s name was changed cuz I’m feeling gracious thusfar. Not gracious enough to correct his grammatical/spellinng error though.

First thought was “hmmm… a bit forward on going out for coffee right away, but assertiveness can be nice. Especially when you factor in I’m a total dork on making any kind of first move when it comes to this kind of thing. Yup, believe it or not, I get shy when it comes to members of the opposite sex. I know, it’s shocking. I’ll give you a moment to recover from the revelation that I actually am shy in one facet of my life.

Better now? Ok… so I check out his profile. It’s kinda boring and I’m not seeing the big connection, but you have to start somewhere and maybe describing oneself is hard even for an assertive coffee inviter. Then I notice “Location- Houston, TX.” WTF? Seriously?? I go back through the profile over and over looking for some sentence that states “Moving back to WI.” Nada. At this point, I’m thinkin’ “and away we go.”

Back to inbox. Hit reply. What can I say, I’m courteous.

Dear George,

Thank you for your interest. However, as you live in Texas and I live in Wisconsin, it would seem that cup of coffee would be a difficult task to accomplish. I wish you much luck in finding somone in your area that you may ask the same question to.

Have a nice day.

UberDorkGirl

Not letting this deter me, I begin poring over profile after profile of people the site feels I may be compatible with. I get two profiles in, wherein I realize there must be a built in smoking crack factor on their part, when I get a notice I have a new e-mail. Wow. I’m doing pretty good here… until I realize it’s a reply from George. I click on it, expecting to find some sort of gratuitous , thank you for the reply. Nope. What I found was this…

But I spend most of my time in the UK, specifically Leeds.

One sentence of insanity. He managed to stump even me. Actually, I thought of MANY things to reply to my new freak George, but I refrained. I simply left it be.

Maybe I should go back and send:

Dear George,

Thank you for popping my online dating freak cherry. Enjoy Leeds, I hear it’s lovely this time of year.

UberDorkGirl