Random Shiny Object Syndrome.

Now, most people will read that and think I like random shiny objects. Don’t get me wrong, I do. This is different though. In this scenario, I’m the shiny. Or maybe I just attract people with a weird version of ADD.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a pretty social gal. I randomly smile at people all the time and tend to know most of the employees at the places I frequent. It’s just how I am. And people always tend to smile and chat back. That’s how human interaction is supposed to work. It’s a lovely thing.

But, I seem to have this knack for drawing in people that are all excited to get to know me, spend time with me, talk to me. Like I’m a new toy on Christmas morning. And I get all excited right back.

And then…..

*poof*

They move on to the next shiny.

And I’m left sad and pouty.

It’s actually started to affect me. I’m a pretty open book and have a huge squishy heart. Putting it out there was something I continued to do willingly no matter how much things hurt. Now I’m more skittish and guarded. I’ll catch myself doing the excited puppy dance back and stop and take five steps back and a deep breath. I keep bracing for my shiny to wear off and them to *poof.*

Maybe it’s all my fault. Perhaps I haven’t outgrown being that kid at the park that made a bunch of friends playing all day and cried the whole way home when I realized I would probably never see them again.

Either way, it sucks.

Hello, my name is Natali and I will be your Fairy Karma Mother today. To point out some things that will come back and bite you in the ass if you’re not careful. For some of you though I may be a swift #truthbat to the head. Both are for your own good really. And both delivered out of love.

What the Hell makes me qualified for such things? Everything or nothing depending on how you look at it. No, that’s not any attempt to be all cryptic. It works like this- I’m qualified because I am human. I am perceptive. I care. I’m not afraid to point out the ugly truths we all secretly know but sometimes forget or blatantly ignore because it’s more comfortable to do so. And odds are, I’ve been through it myself. If you don’t want to hear what I’m saying, well then nothing I can say will make me qualified enough in your eyes. Deep down, you know I’m right though.

So, grab a woobie, take a deep breath, clear your mind, open it up, sit back and relax…..

1. Don’t Be That DoucheBag.

Very few times in my life have I heard a sober person utter “dating is fun!” It’s an awkward dance between strangers that grows more awkward with every “ten tips to snag a geek” and “what he REALLY wants in a woman” type article that comes out. Wear this, say this, do this, don’t do this, wait this many days/dates before you do this. It’s all too much. Yet few want to be alone so it’s a necessary dance of sorts.

I have witnessed a highly common theme amongst my friends and people in my social streams as of late. Here’s the scenario….. (and it works both ways, girls do it as well, I’m not just claiming it’s guys. Douchebag is def not a single gendered noun.)

Girl/guy meet online. They start talking. They like each other. They are talking and texting like mad. There are clearly all kinds of commonalities. They finally meet over the obligatory coffee/lunch/beer. Things seem to go okay. Girl never hears from guy again.

Seriously!? WHAT THE FUCK?? I don’t get this. Yet, I’ve seen soo much of it lately. First of all, it would seem there was clearly a connection there. If not romantic, at least as friends. Your friend quota is just suddenly maxed out?

Secondly and most importantly- GET OVER YOURSELF.

Guess what Sunshine? There is a chance she wasn’t wanting to start nomming your face either. Man up/Woman up and be a decent human being. Say “hey, I had a nice time. I’m not sure how you feel, but I was feeling way more a friend vibe than romantic. I’m sorry if that’s not what you were feeling. But, if you’d like to stay in touch, hang out…..” you get the point. Something nice.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BE THAT DOUCHEBAG. No one deserves to be treated like that. And honey, if you are the victim of that douchebag THEY ARE NOT WORTHY. Trust me love, you WILL do soooo much better. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

2. Actions always speak louder than words. So, if you can’t back yours up, let your next action be walking.

I put this up over the weekend. The first part is older than dirt. I’m fairly certain even dinosaurs lived by this. This bears repeating- Words woo and pull at our heartstrings. One right sentence from the right person can make our entire day, or week or month. But, the words mean nothing if they are not backed by actions. Whispering sweet nothings… they are nothings unless there are actions that make them somethings. I don’t care who you are, “I love you” followed by a junkpunch just ain’t right.

There are many facets to this too. You can’t tell someone they are important to you, yet you have no time for them. Especially when you are all over FB, Twitter, whatever talking to everyone else.

When you tell people something, they tend to believe you. Especially when it’s things like “You’re special, I care, you’re important, I love you.” Those are big words.

WORDS THAT IF YOU CAN’T BACK UP, JUST TURN AROUND AND WALK NOW BEFORE YOU DO MORE DAMAGE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE.

3. Never make someone a priority when you are only their option.

This is one I need to keep revisiting. I think it’s one of the hardest things to master. We all have (whether we want to admit it or not) the desire to be liked. Some people don’t feel like they are liked unless they know people are paying attention. The more people that pay attention, the better they feel.

When no one is giving them that, enter you. They can always count on you. Well, both of you need to listen up.

IF YOU DON’T STOP SEEKING EVERYONE’S APPROVAL/COMPLIMENTS/LUST/WHATEVER, YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE THE ONE PERSON THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE. One true person is worth way more than a bunch of silly fans that will never know the real you or bail when they do meet it.

and

YOU DESERVE TO BE A PRIORITY. THE PRIORITY. There IS someone out there that will want to make you their priority.

4. The truth ALWAYS comes out.

Lying about who you are or pretending to be someone you aren’t does no one any good. Everyone needs a friend in their life with a strong bullshit detector. And we need to listen to them. It’ll save A LOT of heartache.

5. Kindness always wins and grumpy people just suck.

If you are going to choose to judge other people on one mere characteristic , let that one be that they are human. Mere flesh and blood like the rest of us. A commonality we can all relate to. Even the seemingly charmed don’t live charmed lives. We all go through our own trials. What’s small to us may be huge to others and vice versa. So, the next time you’re out- hold a door open for a stranger and smile at them. They may really need it. The next time you’re about to judge someone you don’t even know based on their political views or color of their skin, whatever silly little thing you feel like randomly judging them on, find something about them that you have in common. I already gave you one. 🙂 Or something you like about them. I know that’s a big step, but try it once. It’s not gonna kill you.

Well, I think that’s it for now. I know there is more knocking around my noggin but I wanted to get this up before I started my day. Thank you for putting up with my little rant for the morning.

Remember- Karma shows up for us all. It’s up to us to whether it’s to say hi and give us a huggle, or smack the shit outta us. 🙂

So, just got off the phone with my mom. She called to check on how I was taking to all my lovely new meds and how the girls’ weekend went.

Then she busted out this unique gift she has. You know how people play that telephone game? My mom seriously must have screwed that game up for everyone every time she played it. This time was just classic.

Mom: “Oh! Did you hear? They confirmed Obama is dead.”
Me: “WHAT!?!??! HOLY SHIT!!!! WHO KILLED HIM!?!?!?!? WHEN!?!? WHERE!?!?!? OMG!!!!” *booting up laptop*
Mom: “Well we did of course. Long time coming too.”
Me: “WE DID WHAT!?!?!” *light bulb clicks as I realize this is my mom I’m talking to* *deep breath* “Mom, do you mean O S A M A ? As in bin Laden???”
Mom: “Oh yeah, hee hee, him.”
Me: *BIGGEST FACEPALM EVER*

I swear my sister’s years of taunting me by saying I was left in a basket on the doorstep by a bunch of gypsies and mom and dad just kept me because they felt sorry for me cuz I was ugly and all really feels like the truth sometimes. Smart gypsies. Gypsies that know the difference between Obama and Osama. My mom even voted for the guy. Obama that is. At least I hope she got it right on the ballot. If not, secret service are probably monitoring them.

We are now home from our annual Easter brunch at my parent’s house. The monkey’s fave Easter basket item? Yoda kites. I popped our dinner in the oven and the girls began to argue which Star Wars movie we are going to watch.

I should prelude this with the fact that they are 5 & 6 now but have been Star Wars fans since they were 2 & 3. I should also mention that as soon as we got home, lilest stripped off the dress so her half of the debate was argued wearing only her underwear.

I love my little geeklings and am frequently in awe of them when they get in uber geek mode. Fighting they do frequently. They flat out throw down like boys. Then two minutes later are smooching on each other and cooing about how they are bestest friends ever. But, every once in a while an actual debate occurs. Tonight is one of those nights.

For some reason, Revenge of the Sith has always been one of eldest’s favorites. Which doesn’t make any sense to me. She LOVES Anakin. Before it sunk in that it wasn’t really possible, she vowed to one day marry him. You’d think that Attack of the Clones would be her favorite then. Why the one where he turns to the dark side and gets his ass handed to him by Obi Wan? Yet it is. It also happens to be my least favorite of all of them. I understand it is necessary, but it’s all so sad. In fact, given that she is inherited my upset at movies that make me sad and habit of turning them off if they make me cry, I would think she would also find this the least favorite. But, whatever the reason, it’s her go to when we talk the new movies vs the classics.

Lilest is a girl after my own heart. She’s all about the classics. Of them, Return of the Jedi is frequently the one that she pushes for. She also HATES Revenge of the Sith.

And so the debate began.

Eldest declares her choice of Revenge of the Sith. Lilest shoots her down. Her argument is simple- it’s too dark, too scary, too sad. Eldest counters with the necessity of it in the total story line and then busts out comparing it to the story of Easter- Anakin dies. He is resurrected as Vader. Lilest throws her a complete curve ball with Return of the Jedi being much more Easter-like because Vader dies and Anakin is resurrected and redeemed. Eldest counters that Anakin flat out dies then, therefore it is not a story of resurrection. Lilest counters with the fact that Revenge of the Sith ends with Vader being created, but ends with that. There is no “character development of him at that point.” Eldest replies “well played, but Anakin still dies in Jedi.” Lilest “Oh really? Because I’m fairly certain that those that are strong with the Force never truly die and he does appear at the closing of the movie along with Obi Wan and Yoda.” Eldest’s retort? “That’s it, there is only one way to solve this- to the light sabers!”

So which one are we watching?

The Princess Bride.

Yup, they decided that fighting wasn’t the answer, it’s Spring Break so we should just pull a full on Star Wars marathon from start to finish instead.

I can hang with that.

I know I’m far from a traditional mom. I do things way differently than most moms do. In fact, other moms at eldest’s school and their old day care love to point that out to me. It just makes me smile. The one thing that I am traditional in, in a way that moms SHOULD be, is the mama bear effect. Yeah, I’m fiercely protective of my monkeys. I try to keep it in check though.

Having said all that, while I’m proud of the mother I am, I try not to judge others on their parenting. We all know that they don’t pop out holding an instruction manual or a flash drive with a pdf of one. The basics of raising children are easy though. It’s not rocket science. You keep them safe and show them all the love you can. When I see those basic truths not being upheld, that’s when I get mad.

So, today I had to run in to Walgreen’s really quickly. Lilest and I pull in. It takes me a bit to answer a couple of texts I got while driving. Maybe 5 minutes after parking, we get out and trek on in. While walking past this giant new Lexus SUV that had been parked and running kitty corner in front of us, I notice two things. 1. It’s unlocked and there’s no one in the front. B. There is a roughly 2 year old alone in a car seat in the back. That last one made me take a couple of steps back and actually look into the windows to make sure I was seeing right. Yup. Alone. *eye twitch*

We go in, grab my nail polish, stand in line, wait for the check out lady and the woman ahead of us to stop coffee clutching, pay for it and wander back out.

And the Lexus is still there.

Still running.

Lil guy still in there all alone.

As I get in my car, my mind struggles. Yes, this is the burbs. But, it’s unlocked. Keys in and running. With child. The mere thought of what could happen terrifies me. But, is it rational? I know there is NO WAY IN HELL I would EVER do that. Jinkies, lilest is over twice that child’s age and in she went with me. So I sit and I think. Lilest asks me why we aren’t driving yet and I explain to her what is going through my head. Then, she hits me with logic- “Mommy, you always stand up for what you feel is right. And you always say sometimes we need to be the voice for people who can’t use theirs.” Grrrr. What to do? Going in means the possibility of a very less than pleasant exchange with the driver/mom/dad/babysitter/guardian/what have you. The kind where people get to swinging. Yet I can’t just drive away and be wondering if that little boy is okay. I can sit here and wait for the person to come out and keep an eye on the vehicle. But, what happens when they go to the next place and do the same thing? Will someone watch it then? Will that little boy be okay?

So, I called the non emergency number for our police department and I told them the situation. Left it in their hands. And drove away hoping that the little boy would be okay, knowing they were at least on their way.

Did I do the right thing? I’m still not sure. I kinda hope whoever it is was in there buying some birth control. All I wanted was some nail polish.

I know that I am far from alone when I say that Dr. Seuss shaped my life. Generation after generation will continue to utter that same phrase. At least I hope.

If you have followed my blog since I started it (which you probably haven’t) you will have heard this story before. It bears repeating though. 🙂

My quest for knowledge has always been there. When I was little, the birthday cut off for Kindergarten was December 1st- the day before mine. By the time I reached 3 1/2 my parents realized I was much different than they had anticipated and they thought I should be in school. Yes folks this was before 3K, 4K and all that other stuff. Back in my day there was only one Kindergarten. And you had to be 5 by the cut off date to attend. Feeling I was more than ready, mom called the school district and was told to bring me in, that they would test me. If I passed, I was in. Like the already lil nerd I was, I was SO excited to go in and test. I remember what I wore that day and I remember them handing me a sheet with a clown on it holding a bunch of balloons. While I don’t recall the tests, I do recall that each one I passed, they put a sticker on to fill in a balloon. All I needed was over half of them full. Proudly, I skipped out of there with all of them colored in. I was going to go to school!

Until the call came. The “If we make an exception for her, then someone comes in with Dec. 3rd & 4th, where do we draw the line?” call. I won’t lie, I totally cried my lil heart out.

Then, I woke up the next morning pissed and determined.

I grabbed all my lil Dr. Seuss books and sat down in front of Sesame Street and taught my geeky self how to read. On a mission, I had mastered all of the books within a couple of weeks and would read them over and over again.

If that alone was the only thing I got from him, that would mean the world. The independence he gave me to teach myself to read empowered me. It taught me that books were the key to knowledge. Not long later it taught me that they are also the key to survival when you need to escape from an unhealthy environment.

And what knowledge did my dear friend Seuss teach me a the ripe old age of 4? He taught me the foundations of who I am:

* Always be yourself:
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

*Being a geek is good:
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

“There’s no limit to how much you’ll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go.”

*Always stand up for what you believe:
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

“I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.”

*Life is tough, but have faith:
“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

“You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. “

*Keep an open mind:
“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”

“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.”

And so very, very much more.

He taught me to be creative. To make up words, characters, entire worlds. To be different. To not only use my imagination but to embrace it. That the world isn’t black and white, nor should it ever be. It should be colorful. It should be filled with amazing creatures all so different but living together peacefully. And if a Grinch pops up, show them some love.

So, happy, happy birthday Dr. Seuss. May your legacy forever live on.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

Feb 28, 2011

Dear Mr. Hipster in MiniVan That Decided Stop Signs STILL Don’t Apply to Him,

It’s very sweet that you clearly have a desire to ram your large vehicle into me. Most men would start with dinner, but not you. You go the extra 30 mph, throw caution to the wind and laugh in the face of traffic signs just to get to me. As we begun our usual dance of me blaring my horn at you and you lifting your Starbucks Venti Whatever to salute me, don’t think I didn’t notice that this time you added a wink. And the smirk when lilest rolled down the window and screamed “I KNOW HOW TO SPELL CREEP NOW YOU BIG ILLITERATE JERK!!” was oh so charming. Well until it turned to confusion when eldest rolled hers down and said “YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BE ABLE TO READ!! THE SHAPE AND COLOR IS UNIVERSAL FOR A REASON!! YOU MUST HAVE CHEATED ON THE TEST!!!”

But, my favorite look of yours was the sweet look of slight terror when we followed you to your house and all honked, smiled and waved. Yes, we now know exactly where you live. So, I’ll stop by and say hi when I want to see you again. No one likes a pushy guy. Play a little hard to get from now on please.

Or else. My YOU KNOW WHY is soooooo ready.

<3,
Me

P.S. Your stupid soul patch is still crooked. Only now in the other direction. That takes talent.

Feb 1, 2011

Dear Mr. Hipster in MiniVan That Decided Stop Signs Don’t Apply to Him,

Thanks for making me have to slam on my breaks & almost donut. That was super fun. I’ve been meaning to become better acquainted with that ditch. I’m sorry I missed the memo that going “cheers” with your Starbuck’s Venti at someone you could have killed meant “I’m sorry.” Hopefully my finger didn’t throw you off. I also apologize for lilest yelling “WE DON’T HAVE A STOP SIGN, YOU DO YOU CREEPOID!!! EVEN I CAN READ STOP!! S-T-O-P YOU (mommy how do you spell creep!?!?)!!!!!!” Kids these days. Hope you have a swell day!

<3,
Me

P.S. As I am aware of the fact you live in my subdivision, you may want to pick up a protective cup. YOU KNOW WHY!

P.P.S. Your stupid soul patch is crooked. I know, straight lines are tough.

It’s been two weeks now. Two weeks since I went public with part of the saga that was UberDork Cafe and Rock the LAN. You know, it’s not even right to say that. There are some people who I am proud to call my friends that are affiliated with Rock the LAN. None of that, of any of this, was ever their fault. No, it’s just one person. One man, responsible for it all.

I didn’t want to do it. I begged for him to come forward with very simple requests. I told him he was backing me into a corner I hated being in. That didn’t matter to him.

So, I came forward. People involved with and people that ordered the calendar had every right to know. Since he refused to give me the means to contact anyone privately, I had to do so publicly. I did so politely. I kept everything strictly to the calendar and didn’t name any specific name.

When I did, his reaction was to accuse me of “dividing a community with malice and drama.” Because of who I am, that got to me. He knows me well enough to know that it would. There’s not a malicious cell in my being. I stand up for what I believe in, I stand up for people I care about, I stand up for the amazing community I am proud to be a part of, I am not quiet when I see things that are wrong. There is a HUGE difference between being feisty (in the spirited, plucky, spunky kind of way) and being spiteful. And as far as drama goes, I am certainly not one to start or perpetuate it.

And so I have sat here for the last week wondering what to do about this whole mess. ALL of it. The calendar is just one facet of it. His statement of accusation was followed by telling me if I “persist” he would “retaliate.” That he had “been nice to this point, but no longer.” I allowed him to paralyze me with this.

I’m just a dorky gal with a dream of opening up a cafe. A physical destination where my community can hang out and be themselves. Come in, grab a bite, game with your friends, your family, new people, by yourself. Check out the webcomic kiosk and find some new favorites. Check out the geeky goods kiosk and find some wonderful new things for yourself or others. Take classes, learn new things, have parties, meetings. A place our community can call home. A place our community deserves. Yes, it was me wanting a place for my girls and I to hang out that started this crazy dream. But, it is OUR dream. Our revolution. We are here and we are proud.

It is that fact that I’ve had made very clear to me recently. This is not just about what has been done to me, but to the community. To all the people that have believed in this enough to donate items for auction, buy T shirts, buy calendars. To all the people that helped spread the word so others would do that. To all the people that said “I want one of these here!” To all the people that are following the growth of this dream in hope.

Regardless of what he chooses to do, he will not stop this dream from happening. Period.

But, it’s time the whole truth comes out. While some people have received refunds for things, there are still many I suspect that haven’t. That don’t even know what has happened. They all just wanted to support the dream. I have had people say “I ordered an UberDork Cafe T Shirt months ago and when it didn’t come, I just thought of it as a donation toward the cafe.” Which is so amazing to me that their belief in this was so strong they also went silent. The thing is, the cafe has never seen any of the money.

Nope. Not one cent. Justin Hurst is in sole possession of EVERYTHING. Everything that has been donated for auction. Any money that was paid for T shirts or calendars that hasn’t been refunded, all in his possession. Repeated requests have been made for months for financial statements, for spreadsheets on all the auction items, for spreadsheets on names and contact information for all those that have ordered anything UberDork Cafe-related. Nothing. No way for me to make sure that things get made right.

The statement he issued on the Rock The LAN site claimed “we will however not be refunding the customers that have already started receiving the first group of shirts that have been shipped that will have to be taken up with the crew from the Café (you will be able to reach them at the UberDorkCafe.com.)” Yet, the “crew from the Cafe” have absolutely no information on how many shirts that includes, who ordered them so we can contact them and make sure they actually received them and we sure don’t have any money from any of them. Considering in an email from Justin dated January 7th he stated “we now have confirmation of over 500 shirts purchased from RTL being delivered and the rest are in route”, well that’s quite A LOT.

That statement on Rock the LAN was quite interesting for me to read in general. Even more interesting that any comments made on it were deleted. If “we” (and, again, it’s pretty much just Justin as he made sure contact regarding the dealings with the Cafe and Rock the LAN occurred only with him) supported the cafe SO much as the statement said, than why have the requests continued to be ignored? I know people get busy, I know that he has some things going on in his life that is his own business. I also know that he will pull it out to use to defend his actions. Which, would be believable if he hasn’t been spending hours on conference calls and such trying to recruit new writers for the site. Yes, he has a site, a business to maintain. But, if there is time for that, there is time to forward the financials and spreadsheets he claims to already have. There is time to call UPS and ship off all the auction items. There is time to make things right.

Come to think of it, that statement on Rock the LAN was all “we” and “our.” That’s a lot to place on the staff of Rock the LAN whom were only privy to whatever it is he chose to tell them. I stepped up and claimed my responsibility in this. I made a huge mistake in trusting someone I thought was a friend and cared for this community. I believed that everything he told me was true. That he would follow through on all the promises that he made. I repeatedly gave him the benefit of the doubt when he failed to follow through on things. That is all on me. And it breaks my heart. But, I’ll be damned if I sit back and allow it to continue. I refuse to not do everything within my power and right to try to correct the wrongs that have been done.

What has been done is not even remotely close to “nice to this point.” I am certain that I will get a threat of coming after me for defamation of character. But, defamation of character is defined as “ false and unprivileged spoken words or written publication.” False is the key term here. I have stuck completely to the truth. Truth that can easily be backed up by texts, emails, notes from our weekly meetings that occurred every Tuesday night at 9pm central time via Skype and action item documents that were generated as a result of all those meetings.

Besides having truth on my side, I have faith. Faith in my community. Faith in that you all know me. Know that I am far from malicious, not trying to invoke drama but to make things right and to keep them from happening again.

So, my dear friends, I need your help. I need you to help me get word to EVERYONE that donated auction items, bought T Shirts, calendars, had ANY transaction with Justin Hurst and/or Rock the LAN for ANYTHING related to UberDork Cafe. If you are one of those people, PLEASE contact me directly at Natali@UberDorkCafe.com.

It is my intent to get this whole mess sorted, the wrongs righted, as quickly as possible so it’s back to onward and upward with UberDork Cafe. Thank you all so very much for the support, the love. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. I’m just gonna have to huggle you all one day. 🙂

Now let’s go REALLY build a better dream!! 🙂

I never thought that I would have to write something like this. That may be proof of how naive I may be. I always preferred to think of myself as optimistic, hopeful, positive.

I owe so very many of you a huge apology. When someone from our community came to me wanting to help with our dream, UberDork Cafe, I believed them. Whole heartedly. I trusted them. Completely. That person has failed me and I, in turn, have failed you. For this, I am truly so very sorry.

It was my mistake to look at them as a friend and every missed deadline or promise that wasn’t followed through, I credited to them being busy. Kept giving the benefit of the doubt. I then asked one person a simple request- the list of all the names and contact information for everyone who had ordered the calendar so far so that I could send them an update and thank them personally. That request was responded to as though I had some sordid plot or agenda. The reaction not only surprised me, but confused me to no end.

Repeated requests since then have been made to not only communicate with the person, but to get the information of everyone that has ordered anything (which includes T shirts as well) through him for the cafe or have donated items to be auctioned for the cafe. Still, I have nothing.

Earlier yesterday I had sent him an email begging him to explain things to me as he was backing me into a corner that I did not want to be in. I guess his response was to remove UberDork Cafe from his site.

Without word to me. Without communicating to me. Without giving me any information regarding UberDork Cafe that I have repeatedly requested.

I’ve been trying to find the words to express all of this without it turning even uglier than it seems to have gotten. But, everyone who ordered things has a right to know. Without having any information, I’m being forced to make it public.

I am left sitting here with no way to contact anyone that ordered things. Things that were paid for and have not been delivered. I have a group of amazing women that created a calendar out of love and hope to make a difference in the awareness of breast cancer and two awesome organizations that are to be receiving funds from the sales of the calendar to whom I have no answers for. No way to explain why someone would do such a thing.

All I have is a promise to all of you to do my best to make everything right. I promise you that this calendar will get printed, t shirts will be made and this cafe will be built. It’s just going to take longer than had hoped due to broken promises and the fact that to try correct this mistake, it seems it’s going to have to come out of my pocket to do so.

You have all been so great at helping to get the word out and it’s with an incredibly heavy heart that I need to ask you all to stop relaying any link that involves ordering anything through RockTheLAN.com or RockTheLANStore.com

If you or someone you know ordered the calendar through the link that was sent out, have ordered any UDC-related T Shirts, or have donated items to be auctioned please have them contact me directly at JustNatali@gmail.com.

Thank you all so very much for believing in this. Again, I am truly very sorry.